Posts tagged realitytv

Picking up my Sunday night slack, let us return to our “Week in Review” :

WEEK 1: January 1st-January 8th -  (Yes, I am aware that a week consist’s of seven days not eight, thank you - but I was exhausted after work last night and found it far more appealing to go to dinner with high school bestie’s and lay around watching reruns of Oprah than to do anything productive, give me a break.)

What we learned about our selves:

-Giving up coffee and diet coke is easier than expected…except when I’m awake, or eating Chinese food…which leads us to a bigger problem; just because leftover egg rolls make for amazing microphones while tormenting my neighbors with poor renditions of “Rock Me Like a Hurricane” in the middle of the afternoon, It’s probably time to put down the chop sticks and add the words MSG, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and Deep fried to the Detox list.

-Giving up alcohol is totally doable, unless you actually enjoy spending time with other people…then, good luck - it’s the worst.

-Giving up men…Just stop talking to them. Even if they flirt with you, just turn and walk away - You may be known as a frigged bitch but at least you can stop worrying whether or not they’ll call you.

…but it’s kind of like when my bike got stolen right after moving here, as soon as it was gone I started noticing all the other bikes out there, hangin out on the street, locked to other bikes, outside the bar, even the scruffy, broken down bikes laying in the ally waiting to be picked apart..ok maybe not the Hobo’s, but god New York is jam packed with seriously attractive men…They should probably just cool out on the good looks, and just find another angle to play, for everyone’s sake.

      THE GAUNTLET - A shameful checklist of the week in passing’s progress…

The Body:

-DETOX - No Alcohol, Coffee, Soda or Men- Can’t say I like it, but I did it!

-Rabbit food over real food - ish…added more color to the repertoire but failed to give up the goods. Need to step it up a notch next week.

-Work out five days a week- Does the actual act of buying a Yoga package count for extra points? …One out of five = epic fail.

-Start taking Vitamins daily- Look Ma I did it! I have successfully swallowed these monster’s every single day…Is it cheating if you’re alterior motive for taking Active Metabolism Vitamin’s is not because you are in fact “active” but because you enjoy the slow release of Guarana into your system? Don’t judge, you know you like it too.

The Mind:

- Read for at least an hour a day - uhhh….

- Enhance cultural life once a week - Does revisiting history through 90’s chick flicks count?

The Career:

- Spend a min. of one day a week taking photographs - Good intentions, fell a little shy on this one.

- Every Monday email 20 industry contact’s- Doesn’t count this week, I made the plan on a Tuesday. Boosh!

-Start working on a long term project/photo story - Out of excuses…

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OVERVIEW: If this were a reality show, I would most likely be the last girl standing awkwardly without a rose…but lucky for me, you bitches can’t vote me off this Island!

I’ll leave you now with an inspirational quote from one of my childhood idols, Mae Mordabito (aka All The Way Mae)

“…what am I supposed to do, huh? Go back to taxi dancin’? Ten cents so some slob can sweat gin all over me? I’m never doin’ that again! So you go back there and you tell ol’ rich Mr. Old Chocolate Man that he ain’t closing ME down!”