So I’m steadily coming to the conclusion that this whole not drinking thing is bull shit…AND it’s making me fat. Everyone whose ever claimed that layin’ off the sauce is a perfect way to drop a few LB’s, lied.

I used to enjoy myself after work like a normal 20 something, at a bar socializing with other human beings. I’d casually drown my self-inflicted angst in a shot of Jameson and a PBR, while openly judging the underwhelming and often overbearing “hipster” movement that has so pompously swallowed my generation whole.

Instead, I now go home and eat hershey’s kisses, and curry chicken salad alone in bed, searching for jobs on Craigslist while the TV guide channel loops endlessly in the background.

On the hunt for legitimate opportunities to utilize my photographic skills, I am left sifting through solicitations for “Fun, Fit, Females” interested in “sales & promotional opportunities” ie. sluttin it up for a little extra ca$h money

...hmm I have been known to use my feminine whiles as a means for success in the past, perhaps I should jump on this band wagon…and who knows, maybe I can even arrange for school credit! Oh wait, I’m 26 and I’m not a hooker.

Nine more days.