Day 5 - January 5th

So, it’s 2:45 in the morning…and I’m laying here, glazy eyed trying to figure out how I can spin the event’s of the evening so I don’t sound like a complete degenerate…but all I can focus on is this tiny box, lost amongst a sea of scattered jewelry on my dresser. Hiding under a stack of three month old magazines I’ll never read, and bills I have no intention of paying, is the most adorable little package of gourmet chocolates, which were given to me as a parting gift at Jean George’s Christmas day…how the hell did I not eat those already???

As I lean half way out of bed, reaching cautiously across the mass of useless crap that is living on my dresser, I am barely able to hold my balance long enough to avoid a serious face plant… but apparently not long enough to avoid dumping the entire bowl of Tortilla Chips that was sitting in my lap. Despite this Mexican Fiasco I maintain focus, strrrreeeeeeeeeettch it out just a little more…and, score! Got em

The only thing that would make these better, is a Manhattan…up…with a twist. There is just something profound about the combination of whiskey and chocolate…Hearing my self, I suddenly can’t help but picture some cheesy motivational speaker inside a high school gymnasium somewhere, freeze framing this exact moment on a VHS player. She’d push up her thick rimmed glasses and point her judgey finger up at me on sceen; lit like a Christmas tree, laying in bed covered in broken tortilla chips, ecstatic over the prospect of eating two week old candy. And she’d say something like, “Kids, do you really wanna end up like this sad spinster?..she probably has cat’s…lot’s of cats…and if she doesn’t, she will. So stay in school and get a real job!!!”

What a buzz kill. Maybe I should save the chocolates for another time…

…eh f*ck it - Judge all you want, but I am dry, decaffeinated and alone in this bed…which can only mean one thing, the Detox is working!…As for the rest of the plan…not so much.